Security Prison 21 Toul Sleng (Formerly a High School) Phnom Penh, Cambodia by Chan Snguon Lowell, MA Pol Pot controlled Cambodia from 1975 to 1979.  During his control close to 2 million Cambodians died due to torture, execution, starvation, and disease.  Formerly a high school in Phnom Penh, S-21 became Pol Pot’s secret prison, where his Khmer Rouge soldiers tortured and executed thousands of Cambodians accused of being enemies of Pol Pot’s Democratic Kampuchea.    Written during my visit in November 2002 I forget to laugh and I forget to cry I forget to feel the pain trapped inside I forget to wonder, forgot to ask why Endless tears afraid to cry, scared of death if I show it in my eyes The world sees not what I see, never realize Never hear the falling tears of my silent cries Mentally I’m already dead Every breath is death after death Before they destroy my physical I’ve already died a million times Genocide injected in me Raped of my emotions, trapped in my heart Raped of my thoughts, trapped in the dark Beaten like a drum, relentless pain till I’m numb Cell after cell, death is the smell Ask me why and I cannot tell In 3 years, 8 months, and 20 days Cambodia fell into a spell S-21 completely hidden from the sun 1.7 million dead at the hands of “Brother # 1” I visited Toul Sleng with my mom in November.  It was my second trip to Cambodia in 2002, my mom’s first since migrating to the U.S in 1981.  Tears that had been held back for over 22 years began to fall endlessly and immediately as my mom entered the grounds of her former high school.  I cannot even begin to imagine what her emotions were at that particular time.  The writing above is my attempt to begin to understand.  As Cambodian children we have many heroes, they begin with our parents.